


Lathbora Viran

by mythlover20



Series: The Herald of Fen'Harel [1]
Category: Dragon Age: Inquisiton
Genre: Abuse, Distrust, Elvhen, Elvhen Gods, F/M, Genocide, Heartache, Kidnapping, Multi, Post-Trespasser, Racism, Rebellion, Religious Crusades, Romance, Slavery, Socio-economic collapse, Torture, Trust, Unhealthy Relationships, psychological abuse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-07
Updated: 2016-04-07
Packaged: 2018-04-30 11:39:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,360
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5162534
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mythlover20/pseuds/mythlover20
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set post-Trespasser, the world of Thedas reels from the disappearance of the elves. The loss of the work forces of multiple nations send southern Thedas into economic and social collapse. Once again the Inquisition is called to set things right, but the rebel god isn't the only problem the world has to deal with. And with an elf at the helm, how reliable is the organisation anyway? </p><p>Two lovers separated by time and circumstance reunite and are torn apart, and are reunited again. Their love for each other still pulls at their hearts, but how could they possible trust one another again?</p><p>All chapter titles are taken from The New Cumberland Chant of Light, The Canticle of Shartan.</p><p>Elvish translations are thanks to the marvellous FenxShiral and The Elvhen Lexicon here on AO3. Check out his work. It is vital to any writer who needs elvish translated.</p><p>Rated Mature for future chapters. The rating may increase to Explicit at a later date.</p><p>On indefinite hiatus due to my chronic anxiety.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. CHAPTER ONE: A Night Without Moon Or Stars

**Author's Note:**

> I had originally planned to wait until I had more than half of the story written before I started posting; but I made the mistake of uploading it to google docs to share it with my writer's group. A large number of "Anonymous Animals" snuck in and viewed my work without my permission, so I am posting the first chapter now. If you see anything like this or future chapters, please let me know. The other work will be plagarised. Still, I won't be posting anymore chapters until I have written many more chapters; but, they _will_ be posted. It will just be a while.

 

* * *

  **LATHBORA VIRAN**

 

 **CHAPTER ONE**  
**A Night Without Moon or Stars**

* * *

 

 

No one should be here.

 

Long past day's turning, the night sky marred by cloud and the full moon obscured, a single form stood on the stone steps before the altar. Its hooded head tilted back to gaze up at the twin lupine statues adorning the sides of what might once have been a mural, a mosaic, a window, a mirror; but, was now simply an empty shell. Before her in the centre of the stone alter lay a bowl, gilded but plain. Once, it had been empty. Now, it lay full of coins, flowers, and precious gems - small gifts left unattended. There was no need: no one disturbed this place of prayer, not when it lay in the middle of a gurgut-filled, sulphur-contaminated swamp.

 

She shouldn't be doing this.

 

The hooded figure raised an arm, and drew down the hood of her cloak. Long, wide ears pointed out from under strands of roughly cut red hair. Big eyes reflected red light. Her mouth, too wide for her heart-shaped face, was set into a permanent frown. So many times she almost convinced herself not to come. If anyone found out—

 

Inquisitor Kani Lavellan, former First of Clan Lavellan, Leader of the Inquisition and Herald of the Shemlen Andraste, sighed deeply, and bowed her head. She felt so stupid for standing here, speaking to pieces of stone; but, she had run out of options.

 

"I don't know if you can hear me," she whispered. Her voice was strong despite her words, drawing on the years of command who shaped her into the woman she had become; "but you give me no choice."

 

Kani lifted her head. If by chance he could hear her, she would not be submissive - not to him. "I don't know if your altars hold some ancient magic which allows you to hear those who pray here; or if you have people watching. Either way, I really hope this isn’t going to be a waste of time,” she continued, looking around. The swamp was dark. The gurguts were sleeping, as were the ravens which congregated in the gnarled trees. Only the sounds of the water lapping against rocks and the hiss of the sulphur leaks permeated the air. She had met no one when she snuck into the Crow Fens, nor did she see anyone now. For all intents and purposes, she was alone.

 

She sighed again. She hoped that was true; but, she would be a fool to believe it. "In the end, it doesn't matter. We need you, Solas. We need your help."

 

She laughed quietly at herself. "There, I've said it. You didn't expect to hear that, did you, Dread Wolf? Well, I don't want to say it. You broke my heart, Solas, and you threaten my world; but, I haven't given up on you. There is something you need to know." A soft coo echoed in the distance. Kani's ears twitched, searching out the sound. Immediately she spun on her feet, her cloak flaring out behind her. Was he here? Did he hear her? Was he out there in the swamp watching her, waiting to see if she was a threat or a convert?

 

No. There was nothing. Only blackness met her gaze.

 

Her heart sank in her chest. How many times has she turned around and thought he was there? How many times had she dreamt she saw him across a meadow, in the trees, leaning beside the pillar waiting to ask her to dance? How many times had she been disappointed when he vanished, or was simply a construct, or, more distressingly, was a desire demon desperate to feed on her longing as she slept? How many times had she tried to move on from him only for her heart to pull her back? She hated how bound she was to him. Her mind and heart warred inside her, and she was so weary of the struggle. She had business to conduct.

 

Kani sighed again, and returned her attention to the altar. "We need to talk, Solas. In person. Not in dreams, not via your agents. You and I, in a room, actually speaking to one another for a change without all the lies and deceit between us. Your network is not as secure as you wish to believe," she stated.

 

She turned, and looked back out into the swamp. "And for any Agent of Fen'Harel who may be listening," she started. "Deliver this to the Wolf. Tell him the Inquisitor needs him to come back."

 

One last time Kani turned back to the altar. Quickly, she dropped two objects into the bowl on top of a collection of simple embrium flowers: a gold clasp, the Inquisition symbol embossed on its surface, and the left half of a lover's knot. " _Ara lath suledin, ma solas Fen,_ " she whispered. " _Sathan gara arla em. Ar isala mar halani._ "

 

With that she turned on her heel, and stepped down from the altar. By the time the moon shone down upon it, the hooded figure had slipped back into the night.

 

None were left to see long, pale fingers lift the tokens from the bowl.

 

* * *

 

 **Lathbora Viran =** The Path to a Place of Lost Love; a longing for a thing one can never really know.

 **Ara lath suledin, ma solas Fen. =** My love endures, you prideful wolf. (ara = my; lath = love; suledin = endure; ma = you; solas = pride, prideful; fen = wolf.)

 **Sathan gara arla su em. = Please come home to me.** (Sathan = please; gara = to come; arla = house, home; su = to; em = me.)

 **Ar isala mar halani. =** I need your help. (Ar = I; isala = to need; mar = your; halani = help/assistance.)


	2. Chapter Two: The Great Host

 

* * *

 

**LATHBORA VIRAN**

**CHAPTER TWO**

**The Great Host**

* * *

 

**_(Bc.) = (Bioware canon)._**  
**Ma nuvenin:** _(Bc.)_ As you wish.  
**Fenedhis lasa:** _(Bc.)_ A common Dalish curse. (Fan translation) Go suck a wolf’s dick.  
**Shemlen:** _(Bc.)_ Quick blood/quickling. The elves’ name for humans.  
**Eluvian:** _(Bc.)_ Seeing glass.

~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~

Kani often used to wish Skyhold was quieter; now, she wished it wasn’t.

  
The Inquisition and Dalish banners adorning the gatehouse filled everyone who passed them with a sense of longing and relief, pride and security. For Kani it was never about the nations the Inquisition saved or the enemies they defeated: it was about the people. She had so many memories of the people who made the Inquisition a force to be reckoned with: memories both good and bad. Memories of nights in the tavern drinking with Bull and her soldiers; memories of Wicked Grace with Varric and Dorian and whomever else they managed to convince to join the game; memories of standing with Grand Enchanter Fiona learning new magic techniques and lamenting the loss of their children. Her forces were barely a third of the size they had been during the battle against Corypheus. Everyone had left. The guards who greeted her as she and her party rode over the bridge were the same men who bid her farewell over a month ago. It made her feel the loss of her friends all the more. They had become a family in her clan’s absence: Sera had become a sister; Dorian a brother; Cassandra a cousin; Cullen, Leliana, Josie, Bull and Varric were all close friends. Cole had almost become a child to her and she loved him as such - a son in his own right, whose absence had left a void in her heart as her own baby boy had. She missed them all terribly, but it was Solas’ absence she felt most.

One year, and they still had no idea what his long-term plans were.

She was starting to believe they never would. He was immortal, after all. His plans must extend far past their mortal lifetimes. Kani could die of old age before they came to fruition.

Kani took a deep breath and sighed as she rode into the lower courtyard. Relief washed over her. One long, hard month out in the field was finally over. She leaned over and clapped her hart’s strong neck. “We’re home, girl. We’re finally home,” she exclaimed.

Her hart bleated in delight, and automatically turned towards the stables. Her white mate waited impatiently outside the annex doors. As soon as they saw each other they both bleated again, and trotted towards each other. The animals sniffed at each other. The male nipped the female’s ear, bleated again, and gently nuzzled her. The female closed her eyes, and returned her mate’s loving caress.

"He was miserable the entire time you were away," a deep voice stated.

Kani smiled down at the source. Her new horsemaster Eirean was a tall, blonde-haired, and green-eyes Dalish elf who proudly bore Ghilan'nain vallaslin. The man had been apprentice to his clan's halla keeper before disease took his clanmates. Loranil's clan took in the few survivors; but, Loranil's clan already had a halla keeper, and two apprentices to care for their halla, and their combined herd. When Loranil returned from a visit to his clan on Inquisition business a year after Corypheus’ defeat he brought Eirean with him, and immediately recommended him as Master Dennet’s replacement. Kani couldn't have been more grateful. The animals loved Eirean and he loved them as though they were his own children. It was a perfect match, and Master Dennet left with his mind at ease, knowing their mounts would all be well cared for.

"A month is a long time to be away from those you love," Kani replied.

"Yes, it is," Eirean replied softly. He took her hart's reins in hand, and held the animal still. "How was your trip? Did the new grip work well?" he asked.

Kani smiled and nodded. "Yes, it did," she said.

"Harrid will be pleased."

"I'm sure he will," she confirmed. Kani laughed. Before she left Dagna and Harrid made a small prosthetic metal arm and "hand" attached to a leather cup and brace she wore on her injured arm, and strapped around her torso.  The three adjustable rounded metal prongs gently slid on a pivot, and were held in place by a small pin which was in turn attached via a tiny chain so it wouldn’t be lost. The entire thing was attached to a small round post she could turn to change the angle of the hand. It gave her limited use again. With it she could now hold the reigns, hold a cup, or carry her staff. It was bulky, awkward to use, and the leather cup rubbed her arm raw despite the padding and fur lining, but until Dagna could successfully enchant a more complicated prosthetic limited mobility was better than nothing.

She released the pin and removed the reigns from the hand, then pinned it closed again. "How did the animals fare while I was gone," she asked.

"There was a small contamination of their food supply, but it was dealt with before the animals were poisoned,” Eirean stated.

Kani frowned. A poisoning? Was someone attacking the Inquisition?

She leaned over and slid from her hart’s back. Her tired knees buckled when her feet hit the ground. Eirean’s strong, warm arm slid around her back, and held her against him until she could stand on her own.

Kani squeezed his arm, and Eirean’s arm slid from her back. “Do you know who it was? Have there been more attacks?” she asked

“No, to both accounts, Inquisitor. I believe it was an accidental contamination, not an attack on our food supply,” he replied.

“What did Commander Rutherford and Fisher say?”

“The Commander assigned more soldiers to guard our food supply as a precaution; but, they both agreed it was nothing to worry about.”

Kani closed her eyes and sighed. “Thank you, Eirean,” she murmured.

“Just doing my job, Inquisitor,” he replied.

“Inquisitor.” Always “Inquisitor.” From the lips of strangers and soldiers, even her friends and acquaintances. Even her family these days. It raked on her nerves and made her want to scream. She wasn’t a person when they called her Inquisitor: she was a glorified servant, a prisoner bound and chained to duty. They stripped away every aspect of her self they didn’t want or need and left her a husk. She may as well be Tranquil for all they thought of her as an individual.

“You know I hate it when you call me that,” she muttered.

“I know, but we are working, Inquisitor,” came the reply.

Kani shook her head. He was always so proper in public.  She turned her back and began untying the saddlebags.

Eirean reached around her and took over the task. “Will I see you at the tavern tonight?” he asked.

Kani took the saddlebags from him the instant he untied them, and hoisted them over her shoulder. “Tomorrow, please, Eirean. All I want to do tonight is sleep,” she replied.

“ _Ma nuvenin_ ,” Eirean replied, his voice a soft whisper.

Kani slid her staff from its holster and turned from him. “ _Ma serannas_ ,” she said.

“Sleep well, Inquisitor.”

Kani scratched her hart behind her ear before she left them behind and took her first good look around her home in a month. The main keep cast deep shadows in the late afternoon sun. It plunged the lower courtyard into an early evening, necessitating the lighting and ultimately relighting of the torches next to the stone walls. Human servants ran across the courtyard carrying food, blankets, and other items from the room in the outer wall into the keep. A long line of servants lined the stairs up to the kitchen. Each passed baskets of food to one another, supervised by the angry head cook who continuously ordered them to unload the supply wagons and store the food before the sun set. The two merchants argued with customers over the price of their goods while another packed up his stall and stored his goods in a covered wagon strapped to picks hammered into the ground. Hammers echoed above, the only evidence of the men and women who nailed down roof tiles on the main keep. Above it all the wind howled. It pulled at women’s skirts, and tore at the cloth tops of the merchants’ stalls. Loose items were knocked from the rooves and servants’ arms and fell to the ground.

Observing it all from the foot of the stairs to the upper courtyard was a dwarf. He leaned against the wall and watched the commotion going on around him. His dark leather armour seemed to soak up the light, deepening the dark shadows around him. His dirty blond hair blended into his tanned skin. Only his eyes lit up the shadows: his irises glowed dull blue as they reflected what little light reached them. Once he saw her he stepped forward and bowed slightly. "Inquisitor," he shouted over the wind.

Kani made her way towards him, and gestured up the stairs. "Fisher. Walk with me," Kani replied.

The dwarf fell into step beside her, easily keeping to her weary pace. "I apologise for disturbing you when you have just returned, Inquisitor," he began.

"What is it?" she sighed.

"Three more alienages have emptied, Inquisitor," he replied

_Of course they have_. "Where?" she asked.

"Ferelden. West Hill, Highever, and Amaranthine.”

Kani shook her head. "How many is that now?" she asked.

"Twenty-three across Ferelden, Orlais, and The Free Marches."

" _Fenhendis lasa_."

They stepped into the upper bailey and immediately headed for the stairs to the Great Hall. A small number of soldiers still trained in the courtyard. Steel armour glinted in the afternoon sun, and the swords sang with every strike against blade or shield; but the wind pushed and pulled at them too, causing their normally-sure-footed steps to stumble, and provide their opponents ample opportunity to end their spar with a mock execution. Here too were the servants carrying to and fro, laden with baskets, spare blades, various tools and necessities. Everyone was moving into the main keep before the storm set in.

But not everyone was in Skyhold. Teams of scouts and mercenaries were out in the field; couriers kept travelling back and forth; supply wagons still climbed the mountain pass; and spies and soldiers were due to return, including key members of the Inquisition’s forces.

"Have Seeker Pentaghast and Lady Sera returned?" Kani asked.

"Seeker Pentaghast sent a raven from Redcliffe three days ago. They will arrive in two or three days, provided the weather holds," the dwarf answered.

"Then let us hope it does," Kani murmured.

She stopped at the base of the stairs leading into the Great Hall and looked up. The sun shone brightly down onto the statues of Andraste guarding the doors; but black clouds gathered on the horizon. The strong wind blew them across the sky, drawing them ever closer to the Keep. Were she not so concerned she would find it rather prophetic: dark clouds heralding dark times. But this weather made the mountain roads very dangerous. A storm or a blizzard would easily kill anyone caught in it. It would be weeks if not months before Cassandra and Sera were found if they didn’t reach the relative safety of the hold in time.

Kani shook her head and ascended the stairs, and through the doors into the Great Hall with Fisher trailing behind. Servants parted in her wake and stood on the perilous edge of the stairs, just to let the infamous Inquisitor pas. Others were strewn about the Hall, setting tables, laying out food, lighting fires in the fireplace and replacing spend candles. Those who noticed her stilled and bowed in respect till she passed by, then returned to their duties.

It was more than the shemlen nobles did.

Kani ignored them all, and headed towards the door to the guest wing and her tower.

Fisher cleared his throat. “Inquisitor?”

Kani stilled, then sighed. _I should have known there was more_ , she thought.

She turned and faced the dwarf. “Yes, Fisher?”

Fisher gestured towards the War Room.

Kani sighed again, and let him lead her to the door.

Once through and into the small alcove between the Hall and Josephine’s office he continued. “Divine Victoria has sent reports detailing the elven exodus in Orlais, Inquisitor,” he said.

“Of course she did. Where are they?” Kani asked.

“In the War Room, Inquisitor.”

Kani sighed heavily yet again. She seemed to be doing a lot of that this last year. “I assume Cullen is there as well?”

“He requested your presence as soon as you arrived, Inquisitor,” Fisher replied.

Kani nodded, and turned away, and strode through the second door into Josie’s old office. A new human man sat at her desk now, appointed by the Divine herself. Kani didn’t like him. He rubbed her the wrong way and set her every instinct on edge. Leliana vouched for his loyalty until she was blue in the face, having met the man when he was being tortured by some Ferelden nobleman and rescued him alongside the elven Warden; but it didn’t matter. It didn't help that he was a political placement, hired to placate the Ferelden nation and give them a sense of security and control over the organisation. It didn't help that he was a devotee Andrastian with traditional views on elves and magic. It didn't help that he was chosen specifically because of those reasons, and because Leliana, Cullen, and Cassandra didn't have to worry he was one of Solas' spies. Oswin Goddard, heir to the Dragonspeak Bannorn, was not trustworthy. He spoke down to her and insulted her whenever he had the chance. His eyes lingered unpleasantly on her across the War Table and followed her whenever she passed. His hands would “accidentally” brush over her in intimate places whenever he got too close. But, thanks to her friends, he was irreplaceable.

Kani could not act against the Divine’s wishes - not with their new oversight. She just had to make sure she was never alone in a room with the man, and that the doors to her quarters were kept permanently locked.

Oswin looked up when they walked in and met Kani’s eyes. Even now he sent a shiver of disgust through her. Those eyes… those eyes said things that set Kani on edge. Dark nights trapped under unwanted hands, knives pressed to delicate flesh, hard organs tearing her apart...

She still nodded and gestured for him to follow. An elf’s opinion meant little against a human’s - even hers.

Cullen looked up when Kani pushed the doors War Room open. He looked... exhausted. Big black bags sat under his eyes, his hair was a mess, and he wasn't wearing his armour. Instead he favoured a simple pair of breeches and cotton top. Utter anathema to his usual appearance. “Cullen.”

He straightened and smiled at her. "Inquisitor. You have returned."

Kani smiled. Her dear commander still had a knack for stating the obvious. "Only a few minutes ago. I should have known a bath would be too much to ask for before returning to work." She gestured towards him. “You look… uh…”

"Awful," Cullen said, and chuckled.

“Yes. Are you all right?”

“As much as you, I suspect, Inquisitor.”

Fisher and Oswin pushed into the room and took their places at its sides.

Kani suppressed a shudder when a hand brushed against her buttocks, and stepped away from Oswin. She took her place at the table, just that bit closer to Fisher. She slid her saddlebags off her shoulders and dropped them to the floor between her and Oswin. "What has happened while I have been gone,” she asked.

"Troops continue to disband, Inquisitor," Cullen started.

Kani nodded. "As we expected. How many do we have left?"

"Approximately a third of our former force," he muttered. "If this continues we will not have enough soldiers to combat Solas when he finally attacks."

Kani stared down at the map. Small elven figures spread across it, dotting the towns and cities where elves had been reported missing. Almost half of southern Thedas was covered in those tiny figures. Hundreds - thousands, even - had disappeared into oblivion; but, thousands still remained. Thousands left for him to “liberate.”

"He won't attack," Kani stated.

"Why not?" Fisher asked.

"Look at the map. He isn't finished yet."

Oswin folded his arms. "That may be; but, his actions have left Southern Thedas' economy in tatters. With no servants---"

"You mean ‘slaves,’ Oswin, not ‘servants.’"

Oswin frowned. "King Alistair is demanding action be taken."

"King Alistair always demands action," Kani dismissed.

She sighed heavily. She wrapped her arm tightly around her staff and rested her cheek against it. "What of Orlais?" she asked.

"Orlais faces similar crises. Almost all the elves from Halamshiral, Val Royeaux, Val Chevin, Val Chevan, Val Fontaine, Serault, Jader---"

"Sum it up, Oswin!"

"Half of Orlais' elves have also disappeared, and Orlais is suffering the same economic effects as Ferelden."

"What of your own travels, Inquisitor?" Cullen asked softly.

Kani sighed and shook her head. "We are a part of the Chantry now; the Clans no longer trust me."

"You were away for a month," Cullen exclaimed.

Kani shrugged, and pointed to her bare face. "I'm not one of them anymore," she muttered.

“Why would—”

“Stop!” Kani demanded before she turned to her new spymaster. "What news did the Divine send?" she asked.

Fisher picked up a pile of papers on the table and placed them before her. "Fen'Harel's agents have been discovered among the palace servants in Denerim, Redcliffe, Val Royeaux and Halamshiral. None of the captured spies have revealed the Dread Wolf's location."

Kani detangled herself from her staff and rested it against the table. She flicked through the report on top. Numbers and names littered the document, but Marquise Briala stood out. Disappeared for three days with a large number of elves from her alienage, and returned alone. Very interesting. "And the eluvians?" she asked.

"Discovered and removed, and placed under guard."

That was news. “They are not being destroyed?” she asked.

“The Divine has ordered the Circle to return the eluvians to our purposes, Inquisitor.”

She straightened and crossed her arm over her chest, cupping the end of her bicep. “Last I heard Leliana ordered them destroyed. What changed?”

“The Divine ordered them placed in storage until we can use them for our needs, Inquisitor,” Oswin said.

Kani shuddered. He said that so calmly, as if he had the right to take an elvhen artifact and twist it to his own desires. She turned back to Cullen. “And our eluvian?” she demanded.

"It remains under guard. Fortunately, it has remained dark since you returned from the Arbor Wilds. If Solas or his agents return we'll know about it."

Kani smiled. "That is good news."

Cullen shifted his weight. His hands automatically went to his left hip, where his sword was normally belted. Without it, his hands didn't know what to do. In the end he crossed his arms over his chest."I'm afraid it's the last bit of good news we have."

The elf's smile fell from her face. "Dorian."

Cullen nodded.

"No word has arrived from Tevinter, Inquisitor," Fisher confirmed.

"Nothing at all?"

"No."

Kani shook her head. "How is that possible? We had spies everywhere! Have they disappeared, too?"

Fisher shook his head. "The last message we received suggests the Imperium’s stepped up their slaver operations again, spreading their influence further across northern Thedas. Several of our spies had already been captured, others were killed trying to sabotage their operations. Only two returned or sent messages since you left. As for the rest..."

"We assume they too have been captured or killed," Cullen confirmed.

Kani leaned against the table, and studied Tevinter. It was empty of figures, bar the occasional ship denoting known slaver operations. There were no elves, no swords, no daggers, no ravens. Compared to the rest of the map, Tevinter was as blank slate; but try as she might to deny it, one section always drew her eye. 

The Arlathan Forest sat on the border between the Imperium and Antiva: a large green expanse between Qarinus and Brynnlaw and The White Spire; extending inland from the Venefication Sea into The Drylands. There were no maps of the area. No one knew if it was mountainous, or a flat plane; whether there were wide rivers or lakes or an inland sea; or, if any ruins still existed after so long or if there were thriving settlements hidden in the trees. Many an expedition had been launched to explore the suspected Elvhenan capital, and none returned successful. Some didn't return at all.

Including theirs.

Kani shook her head again. "Have we truly had no news from our scouts?"

"I'm afraid that with the war between Tevinter and Qunandar intensifying our forces are being captured by the Qunari as well," Cullen confirmed.

"It doesn't help that they still think we're allied with Fen'Harel," Fisher added.

She sighed heavily and bowed her head. It also didn't help that Kani visited a shrine and begged for his help less than a week ago.

Oswin flipped through the sheets of paper on his clipboard. The number of letters boggled her mind. "Half the nations of southern Thedas question the Inquisition's loyalty to the Chantry. Arl Teagan has again called for the Inquisition's disbanding," he stated.

Kani gritted her teeth. "Isn't that what you're here for, Ser Goddard: to placate the Ferelden nobility?"

Oswin leaned closer, his teeth bared and eyes piercing her like daggers. "I'm here to—”

"Yes, yes, I know why you're here; just fix it!" Kani shouted! "Just... did Sera send any news from the Jennies?"

"No. Red Jenny refused to send information with anyone other than herself," Fisher replied.

"Very well, then.”

Kani looked up and around the table at the three men. "All right. Fisher, try to contact our scouts, even if you have to send more looking for them. Goddard, can you try your Tevinter contacts, see what has happened to Dorian and the Liberci. Contact his mother. If we have to make a move in Tevinter they will be our way into the country. Cullen? Figure out what you can do about recruiting. Keep your guards stationed at the eluvian. If anything changes I need to know immediately."

Cullen nodded. "Inquisitor."

Fisher bowed his head, and left the room. Oswin shook his head and stormed out.

Kani sighed deeply. If it wasn't one thing it was another. Josie went home and was replaced by a racist arsehole; Leliana left and was replaced with an agent loyal to her and not the Inquisition; her friends disappeared, and her love abandoned her a third time to become her greatest enemy; her clan wasn't speaking with her; other clans refused to acknowledge her; and, what city elves remained avoided her.

Maybe she should have stayed with the Clan, but how could she have possibly foreseen this chain of events?

"Inquisitor? Kani?"

Kani raised her head and looked to Cullen. "I’m sorry; I was lost in my thoughts. What is it?"

Cullen rounded the table to stand beside her. Concern darkened his pale blue eyes, and pinched the skin between his brows into his now-typical frown. "I am sorry about the clans, Kani."

Kani smiled sadly. Cullen really was sweet sometimes. "Thank you," she murmured

The man gently placed a hand on her shoulder. "It must hurt. Are you all right?"

She nodded. "It does; but, I understand their caution. In their position I would do the same thing."

Cullen shook his head. "No, you wouldn't."

_So confident of that, you poor foolish man_ , Kani thought.

Her smile softened, and she patted his hand. The poor man looked like he needed comforting more than she did. "It's all right, Cullen. I will be fine; but, what about you? Forgive me for saying so but you really do look awful. Did anything happen while I was away?"

Cullen shook his head. “No more than usual. Some days are just better than others.”

Kani nodded slightly. Cullen battled his lyrium addiction every day. Even though he had been sober for over three years now, Kani knew there were still days when the temptation was almost too much. Today must have been one of those days. "If there's ever anything you need, Cullen..."

Cullen smiled down at her. "I know. Thank you."

Kani smiled back, and bent down to pick up her saddlebags. “Is there anything else I need to know?” she asked.

“No, Kani. Enjoy your bath,” he replied.

“Oh, I will,” Kani chuckled.

She rose and picked up her staff, and smiled widely at her Commander before she turned her back on him and trudged back to the main hall. Her smile fell from her face the instant the door to Josie’s - Oswin’s office closed behind her, and she was once again hidden at the top of the stairs down to the Lower Hall.

What would Cullen know? He was a human, and a templar. He knew nothing of the life the Dalish were forced to lead. Their strict traditions and close-knit society were often the only reason they still lived. An elf marked with the vallaslin wasn't just an adult: they were a friend and a valued member of Dalish society. They could travel to another clan and the new clan would know they were trustworthy, that they shared a similar history, a culture, a value system. Most importantly they knew they shared the same suffering. Without it, they were an unknown entity. They could have been a slave, a soldier, a servant, an assassin. If they trusted every bare-faced elf they met in their wandering anyone could kill a clan from the inside. It would be easy. A dash of ground deathroot in a cauldron of soup, or a poisoned arrow in a buck's side, and everyone who shared the spoils would perish. One less clan for the humans to compete with.

The humans had a set view of the world: humans on top, dwarves next, and the elves last. Dwarves owned all lyrium mining operations and leveraged that monopoly to demand respect and a measure of equality. Elves had nothing. They were the garbage humans walked over in the streets, the dogs they kicked when they were angry. They looked down on elves, never realising they were people too. The mages were in a similar predicament, but unlike them the Dalish had neither the numbers nor the infrastructure to support a rebellion against their oppressors. Any such attempt ended quickly and easily, and always in the shemlen’s favour.

Now the Dread Wolf was emptying alienages, towns, and cities of its elven population. Humans scrambled to fill the gaping hole the elves left in their wake; but, there simply weren't enough. Businesses went bankrupt, human families were tossed out of their homes. People turned to thieving and murder just to make ends meet, and there was nothing they could do to stop it. It made thing even worse for those poor few elves who turned down Fen’harel’s offer and remained - those who survived, at any rate.

Kani took a deep breath and plastered a smile back on her face. She pushed open the door to the Great Hall, then froze, and groaned.

Two dozen humans mingled on the other side, blocking her path to the door to the north wing and her quarters. One man turned his head, and his beady eyes locked on her behind his mask. The man he was conversing with turned to see what had distracted him, and his gaze fixed on her. One by one the noblemen closest to her stopped speaking. Then as one they swarmed upon her.

"Inquisitor, if I may---"

"You must do something---"

"This bandit must be---"

"All my elves have---"

"A demon wo---

"Two nights ago---"

"The plains---"

"Dalish heathens have---"

Kani stumbled back against the wooden door; but the humans pressed in closer still. Every inch she gave them they took, and more. They pushed her back, closed her in, stole her air, and they just kept talking. They kept making demands; they kept shouting over each other; they kept filling her ears with their constant screams.

Kani squeezed her eyes shut. "Enough! Get out of my way!"

Her rude response stunned the noblemen long enough for Kani to flee. She pushed past them and all but ran through the north wing door. Her feet carried her down the hall past startled servants and gaping nobles to her door. One of the soldiers standing guard saw her coming. He barely had the door open before Kani flew by . She slammed the door shut behind her and scrambled for her keys. The metal chimed in her numb fingers. Key clacked against one another as she tried to find the right one. Before she could the lock clunked into place: the guard had locked her in. She was finally free.

The sound echoed through her. It settled around her heart and squeezed. Her staff clattered to the floor. Kani fell back against the door clutching her chest. Her wobbly legs gave out on her. She fell back against the door and slid to the floor, shaking and shivering. She couldn’t breath. Her lungs cried for air; but, instead froze into a solid lump. It grew and grew until a giant knot formed in her chest. Vice-like fingers squeezed her heart, cold, tight. It couldn’t move, couldn’t beat. Her head swam; her eyes watered and tears fell down her cheeks. She couldn’t see but she still stared at the dark wood stair in front of her. Couldn’t breathe. Couldn’t breathe. She was choking and she couldn’t breathe!

Kani rocked back and forth with her arm lying limp on the stone floor beneath her for she didn’t know how long. Time didn’t matter. She couldn’t feel anything bar the bile burning the back of her throat. She wasn’t the Inquisitor, the strong leader of the Inquisition who had defeated a would-be god. She was just a woman with the world on her shoulders who was once more cracking under the pressure.

One would have thought she would be used to it by now; but, nothing could ever prepare someone for this situation.

Soon the taste of bile began to fade, and the vise around her heart and lungs began to let her go. Kani drew in a long, deep breath, then another, and another, and another, until the black fog clouding the edges of her vision faded. When her lungs no longer felt starved for air she raised her head, and took one more deep breath for good measure. She was in control again.

Kani wiped her tears from her cheeks with the heel of her palm before gathering her equipment and scrambling to her feet. She stared up the tower and despaired the flights of stairs that still lay between her and salvation. Her heart just didn’t want to face them; but, in the end her brain convinced her limbs to move, and one step after the other she climbed to the final door, opened it, then locked it behind her. No one was welcome into her quarters. Should anyone make it past her guards this final door would keep her safe. This room was her sanctuary. She needed it to be.

She climbed the last flight of stairs, and dropped everything on her couch. The door to her private wash room was open, and a towel hung threaded through the handle. Kani stepped through the door, and sighed in relief. Her tub waited for her filled with water, and fresh soaps sat on the tiny shelf above it - all set there by the one person remaining she trusted in her quarters.

_Thank you, Marie._

Nothing could compare to the sheer relief Kani felt as she shed her armour. Each blood-stained piece was another duty, another responsibility discarded for the night. Her worn and tired fingers pulled at the straps and fumbled on the buckles until the last unwanted piece fell to her feet. She raised her fingers to the bonds holding her prosthetic arm in place. Two buckles on her shoulder, and one under her breasts loosened. The leather cup pulled off of the lumpy, creased folds of skin that used to be her elbow. Bright red welts and torn blisters circled her bicep where it had dug into her flesh. Yellow puss oozed from infected wounds, and the smell… Kani grimaced and turned her head away. Creators! The stench of sweat, ooze, and blood was overpowering. A qunari would pass out if he ever smelt that. She stepped out of the circle of armour and under garments and hung her offending prosthetic on a hook next to the wash room door for the servants to clean on the morrow. Then she walked through the door and turned her attention to the tub, and frowned. The water was always cold by the time she was able to bathe, so she directed a tendril of mana towards the rune engraved on it’s bottom. It flickered a few times before she was able to bring it to life and maintain it until the water began to steam, then flickered a few more before she extinguished it. She stepped over the high edge and slid into the deep, hot water. A grateful, relieved sigh escaped her lips as she sat back, rested her head and arms on the edge of the tub, and closed her eyes. Immediately the water did it’s work. Weeks of dirt, mud, blood, grime, and sludge sloshed off into the bottom of the tub. Every muscle began to release their month-long tension. Aches and pains eased until they became negligible. Kani finally began to feel like herself again.

It was no wonder the Dalish refused her. She had indulged in shemlen luxuries far too often. She couldn’t even last a month without a decent bath anymore.

She opened her eyes and plucked a bar of scented soap and a cloth from the shelf. Sweet scents of lavender, honey, and crystal grace wafted up to her nose. It smelt like home, like warm nights in her mother’s arms as a child, like sticky bread on her fingers, like the potions and salves the Keeper used to make. She could almost imagine herself back there, playing around the aravels, or listening to her mother’s tales by the fire with the other children.

But they didn’t live like that anymore. They lived bound by stone walls. They sat with humans and city elves on councils, making decisions that affected their entire town. They sat in houses at night instead of by a fire. Food was bought instead of hunted. Halla were confined in pens instead of free to wander through a camp interacting with their elves. Their traditions and tales were being distorted and damaged by contact with outside forces.

Would Solas be pleased by that? He had seemed happy when Kani told him the clan had moved into Wycombe. That they were on the council, helping to rule in a democratic system elected by the people they were serving had made him proud: a culmination of everything he told her he dreamed. So she thought. Maybe that had been a ruse, too.

It must have been: he was preparing to tear down the veil. He was turning the clock back and turning modern elves back into the ancient elvhen. All the traditions and culture the elves had developed were to be erased and replaced with the autocratic system of his time. Everything they had learnt, discovered, fought for, gone in an instant. How could he be proud of them when he was going to destroy them?

A loud groan rumbled up her throat, and Kani stunned herself back to reality. She shook her head and sighed at herself. “This isn’t getting me anywhere,” she muttered.

Mythal help her, she had more pressing matters she needed to attend to.

Kani scrubbed the soapy cloth over her body. Pale, freckled skin emerged beneath the remaining caked-on filth. She dabbed the cloth at the torn skin on her arm, trying to dislodge the specks of dirt glued in the wounds and folds of skin at the tip. She hissed. The rough cloth burst the fragile blisters and tore off thin patches of skin. Soap stung the damaged flesh it left behind. Kani immediately immersed it in water, and worked the skin to rinse the soap from the creases until the burning sting had subsided. She closed her eyes, and called upon her mana. A tiny trail of healing magic spread from her chest to her arm. When she opened her eyes again the end radiated green light, and the bright red sores faded to pale pink without side effects and without Kani accidentally electrocuting herself. Instead she began to shiver: the water had grown cold during her contemplations. She finished the last of her bath quickly: scrubbing her face and washing the blood and dirt from her hair. Once clean she replaced the soap and scrub on the shelf and stood.

A mirror hanging on the opposite wall revealed her naked reflection. Bruises and cuts decorated her torso. Her limited healing magic had only been enough to heal minor wounds such as her arm; or, partially heal more serious ones just enough to keep her alive. She dragged a finger across one long, ragged cut that slashed across her breast and her heart. So many things had changed since she found out Solas was Fen’Harel. A human’s reaction to a lone, bare faced elf outside an alienage in the middle of the night was unfortunately one of them.

Kani closed her eyes on herself, and turned away. She was hideous.

Naked, she stepped out of the tub and walked into her chambers, plucking the towel off the doorknob as she passed. The soft, enchanted linen was a gift from Dorian sent just after he joined the Magisterium. What possessed someone to enchant a towel of all things eluded her, but she appreciated it. It was always warm and it soaked up the water droplets on her skin before they could freeze during the cold, harsh Frostback winters. It was such a thoughtful gift for a woman who couldn’t dry herself as fast as she used to - who couldn’t do anything as fast as she used to. Of course Dorian would gift her such an item.

Kani sat on the edge of her bed, and wrapped her arm around the stomach.

Dorian. Kind, intelligent, considerate Dorian. It used to be that not a night went by without a hearing his voice drift from the pale blue crystal hanging around her neck; but, it had been three weeks since their last conversation. Three weeks without his jokes, his complaints, his gentle inquiries. No one knew quite how to make her smile even when she was miserable the way he could. He, Cassandra, and Sera had been constantly by her side after she returned, alone and one-armed and bearing some of the worst news she ever knew. They made her recovery bearable, kept her depression hidden, helped patch together her thrice-broken heart. They held her together - held the Inquisition together. Everything would have fallen at the first hurdle if not for them.

Now, Dorian was gone. The crystal was cold; the warmth she usually felt was dead since he disappeared. With it went her greatest support, and one of her greatest friends. With it came one of her greatest worries.

Despite the cold seeping in from the approaching storm Kani lay back on the bed, still naked. Just as she did every night she grasped the crystal in her hand and directed her magic towards it. It glowed, turning her hand bright orange and illuminating the bones within.  Her big, bright purple eyes stared up at the ceiling until she entered into a slightly trance-like state. She sent more mana into the crystal, trying to amplify it’s magic. All her mana was focused on the crystal and all concentration was focused on keeping it under control. Then, she called.

“Hello?” she whispered. “Dorian? Are you there?”

He didn’t respond.

Kani closed her eyes and waited a moment before speaking again. “Dorian, please answer me.”

The wind began to howl through the mountains. The sound bellowed in Kani’s ears; but, Dorian didn’t answer.

A tear leaked from the corner of her eye. It trailed down her temple and soaked into the blanket beneath her. “Dorian, please, talk to me. I need you.”

The doors rattled. Cold air fought back against the fire.

“Please. Dorian, please,” Kani begged. She gripped the crystal so tight the metal fittings would leave impressions in her skin. “Just let me know you’re all right.”

The crystal remained silent.

Kani lets the crystal’s light die, and her hand falls to her breast. The trance-state fades; but, her vision blurs as tears well in her eyes. Why didn’t he answer? Did he lose the crystal? Had it been stolen? Was he dead, kidnapped, injured, sick? Did he just not want to talk to her? Every possible scenario ran through her head again and again, just as it had every night since Kani realised this aberrant behaviour wasn’t an accident.

Answers did not magically appear. They never did.

Kani lifted her heavy hand and wiped the tears from her face. Exhaustion and misery tried to convince her to close her eyes, to lie there as she was: cold, wet, and exposed. Still Kani pushed herself back up. She slowly dried and dressed, then extinguished the candles and slid between her sheets. Maybe the Fade would have answers for her. It was unlikely; but, she would take anything.

Sleep took her in minutes, the sending crystal clutched in her hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Andaran Atish'an,
> 
> Well, here it is: Chapter Two, as promised. Apologies for taking so long. I hope you likee the result.
> 
> I am currently aiming for a once-per-month uploading schedule, as the next few chapters require rewriting as well as editing. I can't promise I will stick to the plan, but I can promise I will try.
> 
> As usual all elvish translations are from BioWare and FenxShiral's Elvhen Lexicon on AO3.
> 
> For now I hope you enjoyed Chapter Two. Please leave a comment if you can: they are the lifeblood for fanfic authors, and it makes us all very sad when no one says anything.
> 
> Dareth shiral, lethallenen.


	3. Author's Note

Anetha ara, lethallenen.

Those of you who follow this story may be wondering where the next chapter is. Well, I am here to assure you it is on the way.

As stated in the Author's Note at the beginning of Chapter One I have not uploaded a new chapter until I have a number of chapters already written. So, as of this moment, I am currently writing the first draft of Chapter Six, and am in the midst of editing Chapter Two.

The editing stage - as most of you know - is the longest stage in the writing process. For me - as an editor - it is even longer. Not only am I trying to write this story, I also have to take the time to truly distance myself from it in order to produce better-quality work. I have to do this at each stage of editing, from the initial concept edit to the final proofread.

More specifically, as an editor, I cannot cut corners; or, at least, I shouldn't. If you find errors in my work they would be their for one of either two reasons: 1) I worked on it so long I could no longer see the errors (which is the very reason all writers need editors - not just beta readers, but real editors.) or 2) I worked on it so long I got sick to bloody death of it and just went "Fuck it" and uploaded it when I shouldn't have.

So the story is continuing. It hasn't fallen at the first hurdle. I cannot guarantee a date or a timeline as each chapter varies in quality but they will come.

Until then, I hope you find something really good to read. Looking Glass by Feynite here on AO3 is pretty good. No, she doesn't know about the plug. Nor does she know me, I just really enjoy this work. Everything by Umereu here on AO3 is pretty good as well. She does know me, but also does not know about the plug.

Until we next meet: nuva tarasyldhe re uth'su mar'veth.

Dareth shiral.

P.S.: I would be very grateful if anyone could suggest a better series title. I honestly cannot title.

(All Elvhen, as previously stated, is either BioWare canon, or from the Elvhen Lexicon by Fenxshiral on AO3).


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